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Jon Hawkins

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[29 Jun 2008|07:29pm]
I forgot this place is a bunch of acquaintances and hardly any friends.  Got tested last night.  I knew that if I drank it wasn't going to be the best night.  Getting called 'boy' and almost jumped by two drunk fucks for no reason sucks.  Second time it's happened...1st time friends had my back, that time, people just watched.  This place is fucked.
This is a toilet : Use it.

[28 Jun 2008|07:45pm]
So annoyed.  Always angry, always upset, always stressed.  I don't understand why I can't be happy anymore.  Why do I need other people to make me feel happy with myself?  I use to have it figured out...and could stand myself, but now I'm always angry.  I don't feel like doing anything at all.  It'd be awesome to call in sick to life so I could figure it out.  I hate waking up, I hate going to sleep, I hate going out, I hate hanging out, I hate drinking, I hate money, I hate drugs, I hate conversations, I hate how I act, I hate people. 

I've created myself into this hate and I want it to die.   I just don't know how to kill it.

I just want purpose
This is a toilet : 3 poops - Use it.

A weird day [20 Jan 2008|11:19pm]
Today at work, the dishwasher machine was not functioning since the hot water broke.  Hand washed the dishes, but then the sinks broke and that was quite the situation to figure out.  It was straight outta a kids comedy.  Very stressful day since that was the start.  Good thing I ate before work. 

After work, double shot of Jack and a Yuengling and decided the rest of the day would be spent that way since I have so much from the weekend I didn't drink.  Got home and then about one shower later

November 17th, 1959 - January 19th, 2008 - I'm here for you homie. 

Then my little sister calls me, "You're gonna be an uncle."

Such a weird day.
This is a toilet : 1 poop - Use it.

[27 Nov 2007|09:56pm]
I really don't like hurting people's feelings.  I've never been good at deciding what to do at these moments.  I'm pretty sure I'll regret my decision either way.  A night of non-alcoholic fueled conversations and a night of solitude might make my head explode with some sort of loss and doubt.  There are pros and cons.  I'll focus on the bigger things and the smaller will be suppressed.  I'm remorsefully only for acting on impulse and being very hard and out of character.  I'll have that one moment embedded.

Need music.
This is a toilet : Use it.

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